It’s not easy to live with another person, which is why divorce is so common. However, that doesn’t mean a divorce is a suitable option for every married couple, even if they do have their fair share of problems. Sometimes, two people want to stay together, but certain circumstances may keep them from doing so. If you’re looking to stay in a long-lasting and sustainable marriage, here are four A’s you need to avoid at all costs:

Adultery

Adultery is an act of cheating, and it’s the biggest reason why people get divorced in the first place. It’s one of the worst things you can do to your partner. Not only does it betray their trust, but it will make them paranoid. They will feel afraid every time you go out alone, and they will always think back to the time you cheated. Furthermore, the spouse who was cheated on will feel devalued, which can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. This is why committing adultery is the fastest way to end a relationship.

Addiction

Addiction is a disorder, and those who suffer from it get so hooked on doing or using something to the point that it takes over their life. It hinders one’s ability to work, as they won’t be able to focus, which in turn may result in a significant loss of income. What’s more, the addict will need a constant supply of whatever they’re addicted to, which means they may spend a lot of money on it. As a married couple, it’s imperative that you have enough money for everything, including medical needs, your mortgage, and other things. When one is addicted to something, they tend to forget about everything else in their life, to the detriment of their family and friends. Therefore, if you suspect that you or anyone you know has become an addict, seek help immediately.

Abuse

In a healthy marriage, both parties should feel safe and secure in the company of the other person. When there’s abuse involved, that sense of safety will be violated, which will make one anxious. The worst part about abuse is that the abuser may not even realize that what they are doing is wrong. They may think that they are just putting their spouse in their place, which is an indication that they are not willing to change. Physical and verbal abuse are equally damaging to a marriage, so if your spouse is abusive in any way, you should find the strength to leave him or her.

Agendas

While most people get married out of love, others get married for other reasons. If these reasons are agreed upon by both parties before the marriage, then it will be easier for them to work through their differences and stay together. However, if one spouse has a hidden agenda that they’re keeping from the other party, it means that they are willing to be selfish to get what they want. That is not something that will sustain a healthy marriage, so it’s imperative that you and your spouse should be open and honest with one another. 

Shepherd and Associates can be of assistance in mediation and child support negotiations – get in touch today to see how we can help.

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